Blogging into the stratosphere

I've learned that blogging is a lonely pastime.  Blogspot sent out messages to those of you that I thought would be interested in what I had to say -- old friends who know me well, turning 60 and wondering, what next?  Alias, only Elf signed in.  So I guess I'll just do a little more navel gazing and see if anyone else comes along and engages (Kate, that means you...).

My Julia Child cookbooks arrived (Mastering the Art of French Cooking), and it is true -- she really does like butter.  She was 6'2" and I've now shrunk to 5'3", so I don't have quite the frame she had to hide all that fat.  I'm torn between my endless fight to lose the weight I've gained over the years of being a workalcoholic, and just giving in and enjoying being fat and hope to die of a massive heart attack -- sudden, but I had fun getting there.

So yesterday, I spent an obscene amount of money at a Macy's kitchen sale, Sur la Table, and Whole Foods shopping to begin my foray into something beyond my mother's simple-is-good style of cooking.  I think Mom had it right.  It was almost 9 p.m. before we sat down and ate a roast chicken, and I cheated anyhow because Julia likes to use a lot of booze, and booze doesn't like me.  And I didn't get to make my apple something dessert either.  Today is supposed to be leg of lamb and that apple thing I've got to figure out.  The Kevins are keeping their mouths shut and humoring me (smart men), but probably also wondering why I'm spending the money to do this at one of the worst possible times in our economic life.  Well, we all need to be passionate about something and humor our silly obsessions from time to time.

I also saw "Finding Forrester" yesterday (before I spent all that money), and one statement that Connery made that keeps rambling around in my head is that first you write from your heart, and then the next draft uses your head.  I guess a blog is supposed to be from your heart, so I'll just plunk down what I am thinking and maybe at some point in time, when I'm done being a controlling workalcoholic, I'll write the story of our insane lives and wonder why we are all (well, most of us) still standing.

I have a blackberry now, and I am intrigued that I can now also allow it to record my random thoughts.  At this point, I think I'll stick to them rambling around in my head--recording would require that I actually then have to do even more to archive or share it.  At least I had the guts to get back and write another passage in this blog--and I did consider just dumping it.  I have to admit to being self-conscious with the thought that by writing it, I'm somehow making a statement that I'm worthy of doing so, and you should all care.  I'm getting comfortable with the idea that you may not care (and worthiness has nothing to do with it), but I'm a little more comfortable to doing what Sean said--just write from the heart and the hell with what anyone else thinks.  I'm still going to turn 60, and so are most of you, and I will do something to acknowledge the milestone.  Hope to see you around the blog sometime soon.